Judgement is the next root that we're going to address.
Judgement can manifest itself in several different ways.
The first way that we're going to talk about is judgement focused outwards. Usually, when we focus our judgement outwards, it is merely a way for us to avoid looking at ourselves.
We've all heard the saying ‘That the things we dislike and others are the things that we dislike the most about ourselves’ or ‘Me thinks he doth protest too much.’
It's always the ones who are screaming the loudest that are the ones who get caught. It's always the the lawmakers who are trying to pass the laws against things, that get caught doing those things.
Often times, when we are judging other people, that Judgement of them actually comes from a deep-seated self-judgement of ourselves.
It can also come from a place of deep-seated insecurity within ourselves that we may have. We feel the need to project our judgement out on other people to reassure ourselves that we're better than they are;
~to reassure ourselves that we know more than they do;
~to reassure ourselves that we are at a higher level than they are and so they have nothing to teach us. We don't have to listen to them. They are of no value to us; emotionally, intellectually, or any other way.
This can be a very destructive thing, when you push your judgement outwards.
It can destroy relationships that you have, if you're always going around telling people how they should live their life;
how you don't like what they're wearing;
you don't like what they're saying;
they shouldn't do something this way; they should do it that way.
You could definitely push people away in this way.
Sometimes it can be used purposefully; sometimes unconsciously as a form of self-sabotage.
Constantly telling people how they should do things or what they should do is a way for you to sabotage these relationships and push people away, so that you don't have to get too close to them.
When we're constantly sitting in judgement of other people, it is a very clear sign of our own insecurities.
When you're always looking outwards at what other people are doing, you are avoiding looking inwards at what you are doing.
how can self judgement affect us?
This is something that we always have to be mindful of, especially in the spiritual community, because our instinct is always to help other people. Our instincts are always pushing us to do for others; do for others; do for others.
Oftentimes our instincts, that part that pushes us to do for others, is actually keeping us from seeing where the work needs to be done within ourselves.
When we're not doing the work within ourselves, we’re actually cheating those people that we should be helping. We’re also cheating ourselves, because we're not able to properly give them the help that they need and we're not able to properly give ourselves the help that we need.
This is similar to the concept of putting on your oxygen mask first.
In an airplane, you have to have enough energy for yourself, before you can give anything to anyone else.
You have to be able to love yourself, before you can receive love from anyone else.
No, you don't have to love yourself, before you can love someone else. This can definitely help, but you certainly have to love yourself before you can receive other people's love fully.
While, judging others is almost always a symptom of our own issues that we are refusing see, what happens when we turn that judgement on ourselves?
The other way that judgement can manifest itself, is when we turn the judgement inwards on ourselves.
We can judge ourselves very harshly for things in our past.
We blame ourselves.
We judge ourselves in comparison to other people.
We will judge ourselves based on what we think things should look like, or how we feel things should go, instead of how they actually are.
We will judge ourselves, seeing things through the eyes of our pain and through the eyes of our guilt and shame.
When we carry judgement, we will see the world through pain-colored glasses instead of through actual truth.
When we can actually face what's going on inside of us; when we can actually see clearly what our own faults are, what our own issues are, without judgement, then we can actually address those things and heal them.
Self Awareness breaks thru self judgement
You can acknowledge that you have a fault, without judging that fault.
When you judge it within yourself, you assign --this is good or this is bad-- that's where the Judgment comes in. When you say that you have a fault or that you have an issue, such as
‘I tend to get angry too quickly’
It's when we say ‘It's wrong that I get angry too quickly” or ‘It's bad that I get angry too quickly”
That's a judgement.
That's when it becomes dangerous, because now we are assigning right and wrong; evil and good; positive and negative.
Now we are assigning an emotion to that issue that makes it charged.
It charges it and it taints it.
Now, when we see that issue in other people, we will judge them by the same rubric and the same criteria with which we judge ourselves.
If we think to ourselves ‘I lie about how much I eat and that's wrong, that's a bad thing’ and then we go out into the world and somebody lies; we then look at that person and we judge them.
We judge them because they lied, but we're judging them based on our own criteria of lying.
We judge them by how we feel about it when we lie.
We judge them by our emotions about our own lies, so then that affects how you react to the other person's lie, not because of their lie but because of your own lie.
If you feel like you are overweight and and being overweight is a bad thing;
If you think to yourself, 'I'm fat and it's disgusting' and then you look out in the world and you see an overweight person wearing a tight shirt, you might judge them based on how you feel about yourself.
You might say ‘Oh she shouldn't be wearing that. That's disgusting.’
You're judging her based on how you feel about yourself.
It doesn't really have anything to do with that person, but you are putting your judgement about yourself outward into the world.
You're spreading that vine, that's growing from that root of judgement about yourself, outward.
This is part 18 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
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