 Where does this root come from? Where does this root of judgement grow from? This judgment; the self judgement and this judgment of others, always comes from the same place that all of these issues come from, and that is the lack of self-love. That is the soil from which all of these roots grow from. That is the soil that we are going to till up and fertilize so that only happy little flowers of self-love grow, instead of the roots of these painful emotions, like judgement. When you turn that judgement on yourself, when you look at your own ‘faults’ or when you look at the things about yourself ‘I have hair on my arms, that's disgusting. My voice sounds weird. That's horrible.’ When you make these judgments about yourself and assign an emotional reaction to them, now you can become self-destructive with them. Now you will start beating yourself up with them. Now that vine of self-destruction and self judgement will start wrapping around your heart and you will start to self-sabotage based on these judgments. You may not even realize that that's where they're coming from. Where do we learn this self-judgment? Where does it come from? Sometimes, it's because we overheard someone say something, once. Sometimes, it's because of the judgement of other people. Many times we create a false belief based on what somebody else said. We overheard someone say something about our hair or say something about our attitude, and so we decided ‘Well that must be the truth. They said it. They said that about me, so it must be true.’ We then internalize that as our ‘Truth.’ We find evidence in our everyday life that supports that ‘Truth’ ‘Well, that person's looking at me funny. They must be looking at my funny hair. That person just reacted to me in a strange way. It must be my attitude. See that person was right when they said I have a weird attitude. See, those people were right when they said my hair looks funny.’ We need to learn, we need to discover the source, so we can rip out the root of these vines, which crawl into every moment of our lives. We give so much credence to the judgements of others and so much credence and weight to our own judgements and superiority over other people. What we learn when we dig down into the roots of this judgment, is that it all stems from the lack of love for our self. When we can truly love ourselves and accept ourselves exactly as we are, we can disregard the judgement of others. Truly about 90% of what other people have to say about you is garbage, that should be thrown away. When we can truly disregard the judgement of others, and rely on our own truthful honest assessment and love ourselves; despite any issues that we come across during that assessment--and in fact love ourselves because of any issues that we come across during an assessment-- that is when we will be able to rip out the roots of both internal and external judgement and clip away the vines that strangle our hearts.  This is part 19 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link
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Judgement is the next root that we're going to address. Judgement can manifest itself in several different ways. The first way that we're going to talk about is judgement focused outwards. Usually, when we focus our judgement outwards, it is merely a way for us to avoid looking at ourselves. We've all heard the saying ‘That the things we dislike and others are the things that we dislike the most about ourselves’ or ‘Me thinks he doth protest too much.’ It's always the ones who are screaming the loudest that are the ones who get caught. It's always the the lawmakers who are trying to pass the laws against things, that get caught doing those things. Often times, when we are judging other people, that Judgement of them actually comes from a deep-seated self-judgement of ourselves. It can also come from a place of deep-seated insecurity within ourselves that we may have. We feel the need to project our judgement out on other people to reassure ourselves that we're better than they are; ~to reassure ourselves that we know more than they do; ~to reassure ourselves that we are at a higher level than they are and so they have nothing to teach us. We don't have to listen to them. They are of no value to us; emotionally, intellectually, or any other way. This can be a very destructive thing, when you push your judgement outwards. It can destroy relationships that you have, if you're always going around telling people how they should live their life; how you don't like what they're wearing; you don't like what they're saying; they shouldn't do something this way; they should do it that way. You could definitely push people away in this way. Sometimes it can be used purposefully; sometimes unconsciously as a form of self-sabotage. Constantly telling people how they should do things or what they should do is a way for you to sabotage these relationships and push people away, so that you don't have to get too close to them. When we're constantly sitting in judgement of other people, it is a very clear sign of our own insecurities. When you're always looking outwards at what other people are doing, you are avoiding looking inwards at what you are doing.
how can self judgement affect us?This is something that we always have to be mindful of, especially in the spiritual community, because our instinct is always to help other people. Our instincts are always pushing us to do for others; do for others; do for others. Oftentimes our instincts, that part that pushes us to do for others, is actually keeping us from seeing where the work needs to be done within ourselves. When we're not doing the work within ourselves, we’re actually cheating those people that we should be helping. We’re also cheating ourselves, because we're not able to properly give them the help that they need and we're not able to properly give ourselves the help that we need. This is similar to the concept of putting on your oxygen mask first. In an airplane, you have to have enough energy for yourself, before you can give anything to anyone else. You have to be able to love yourself, before you can receive love from anyone else. No, you don't have to love yourself, before you can love someone else. This can definitely help, but you certainly have to love yourself before you can receive other people's love fully. While, judging others is almost always a symptom of our own issues that we are refusing see, what happens when we turn that judgement on ourselves? The other way that judgement can manifest itself, is when we turn the judgement inwards on ourselves. We can judge ourselves very harshly for things in our past. We blame ourselves. We judge ourselves in comparison to other people. We will judge ourselves based on what we think things should look like, or how we feel things should go, instead of how they actually are. We will judge ourselves, seeing things through the eyes of our pain and through the eyes of our guilt and shame. When we carry judgement, we will see the world through pain-colored glasses instead of through actual truth. When we can actually face what's going on inside of us; when we can actually see clearly what our own faults are, what our own issues are, without judgement, then we can actually address those things and heal them. Self Awareness breaks thru self judgementYou can acknowledge that you have a fault, without judging that fault. When you judge it within yourself, you assign --this is good or this is bad-- that's where the Judgment comes in. When you say that you have a fault or that you have an issue, such as ‘I tend to get angry too quickly’ It's when we say ‘It's wrong that I get angry too quickly” or ‘It's bad that I get angry too quickly” That's a judgement. That's when it becomes dangerous, because now we are assigning right and wrong; evil and good; positive and negative. Now we are assigning an emotion to that issue that makes it charged. It charges it and it taints it. Now, when we see that issue in other people, we will judge them by the same rubric and the same criteria with which we judge ourselves. If we think to ourselves ‘I lie about how much I eat and that's wrong, that's a bad thing’ and then we go out into the world and somebody lies; we then look at that person and we judge them. We judge them because they lied, but we're judging them based on our own criteria of lying. We judge them by how we feel about it when we lie. We judge them by our emotions about our own lies, so then that affects how you react to the other person's lie, not because of their lie but because of your own lie. If you feel like you are overweight and and being overweight is a bad thing; If you think to yourself, 'I'm fat and it's disgusting' and then you look out in the world and you see an overweight person wearing a tight shirt, you might judge them based on how you feel about yourself. You might say ‘Oh she shouldn't be wearing that. That's disgusting.’ You're judging her based on how you feel about yourself. It doesn't really have anything to do with that person, but you are putting your judgement about yourself outward into the world. You're spreading that vine, that's growing from that root of judgement about yourself, outward. This is part 18 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link In parts 15 & 16, we talked about what happens when we turn our guilt (incorrect core beliefs from childhood create a Root) outwards onto others (The Vine) lashing out in anger and destruction. In this part, we are going to examine what happens if we turn our guilt inwards. Let's take this Vine in the opposite direction. We watched the first vine pushing outwards, lashing out, building walls, pushing others away; One Vine creeping out in many many directions from this root of Guilt. What happens if we watch that Vine twist inwards, wrapping itself around our heart and our guts and our innards; twisting itself into our brain. If we take the same situation, the same situation with a different little girl. She doesn't clean her room, her mommy yells at her and tell her to go to her room until it's clean; she hears mommy and daddy arguing and daddy leaves. She thinks it's her fault that Daddy left because she didn't clean her room. This little girl blames herself that Daddy left, because she didn't clean her room. Same scenario as before, same false belief created, same root of guilt. However, this little girl says ‘I'm going to be the best little girl on the planet. I'm going to do everything right. I'm never going to be a bad little girl again and if I do that, then everything will be perfect and daddy will come back and Mommy will love me and everything will work out.’ So this little girl cleans her room spotless. In fact, she starts cleaning the whole house. She behaves so well in school, she starts getting citizenship Awards. She starts getting straight A's and she's doing the very, very best job that she can. But... nobody's perfect and when something goes wrong in the little girl’s world, like maybe she drops something or she gets a B or maybe something doesn't quite go right, the little girl has a little meltdown. The little girl doesn't want anyone to see her having a little meltdown, and the little girl doesn't understand how to process all of the pain that she's feeling, so the little girl hurts herself. Maybe she makes a little cut on her arm. Maybe she starts thinking bad thoughts about herself about what a horrible person she is. Maybe the little girl starts telling herself that she is a terrible person that she's a loser. Maybe she tells herself that everyone hates her. Maybe she tells herself if she doesn't get everything perfect, then her whole world is going to end and everyone will leave her just like Daddy did. 'If I'm not perfect then everything will be wrong and nothing will be right and everyone will leave.' This starts a whole different spiral in her life of self-hatred and self-loathing and a perfectionism that goes beyond. Maybe it turns into OCD. Maybe it turns into anxiety. Maybe it turns into her becoming a type A personality, that excels on the outside and punishes herself on the inside. Maybe she becomes a cutter. Maybe she pops pills. Maybe she becomes an exercise addict. This type of guilt will manifest itself in many ways, but the main way that it manifests itself is in self-harm. On the outside she looks perfect and she will present the image of perfection, but when one thing goes wrong, she will destroy herself on the inside. This is yet another way that the same exact root of guilt, from the same event, presents itself and creates those vines that twist themselves into our lives.  Is my guilt misguided? Is my guilt hurting my life?Let's examine the root. Did her daddy leave because she didn't clean her room? No, he didn't. But does the grown up girl recognize that fact? No she doesn't. Why doesn't she recognize that fact? Because she doesn't know that all of her behavior stems from that one root of Guilt. She doesn't recognize that all the Vines; all the behavior; all the self-sabotage; all the negative thoughts come from that one guilty little secret; that one false belief; that one root of Guilt that it's her fault that Daddy left because she didn't clean her room. Does any of this sound familiar to you? Are you either of these little girls? Do you see these Vines, these behaviors, playing themselves out in your own life? These are the things that destroy us. These are the things that keep us from loving ourselves. These are the things that keep us in the darkness. These are the things that keep us from seeing ourselves clearly, because we don't recognize the false beliefs that make up our core. How do we heal this root? How do we clear away these vines, that stifle us and twist up our hearts? We time travel. (Click here for a video on this technique.) We use that technique we talked about in Chapter 6. You go back to that little girl and you tell her it’s not her fault her daddy left and you give her a hug. Then you hug your daddy and you tell him you forgive him. Then you even hug your mother and forgive her. Then you hug your grown self and forgive yourself for that false belief you have carried all these years. Release your guilt. Dig out those roots. Rip out those Vines! You can do it!! This is part 17 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link In part 15, we were talking about the ways that Guilt can affect us, especially misplaced guilt from childhood (The Root). In the previous example, we talked about guilt based on an incorrect core belief formed in childhood, that can affect us for our entire life. (The Vine) Today we're going to explore another Vine that can be created by Guilt pushed outwards into aggression and anger. Guilt Vines can crawl in a different direction. This same young lady (from part 15) can have a Guilt Vine now that crawls around her heart about the way she's treated her mother, after the daddy left. Because, in her mind, it was her fault that daddy left and she started treating her mother badly. She didn't want her mommy to know that it was her fault that Daddy left. She didn't want Mommy to see that Daddy left because she was a bad girl. So, she started pushing her away and being mean to Mommy, so that mommy wouldn't see too clearly how hurt she was that Daddy left; so mommy wouldn't see too clearly that it was her fault that Daddy left. The further that she pushed Mommy away, the meaner that she was to Mommy, the easier it was for her to be mean; the easier it was for her to lash out and the less she had to feel her guilt. The more anger she could feel towards her mother, the less of her own guilt she had to feel. The more she could push that blame outwards so that even though it was her own ‘guilt’ that she was feeling (because it was her fault that Daddy left) she then started to blame her mother instead. ‘Mommy was the one who told me to clean my room. Mommy was the one who made me clean my room. Mommy was the one who got into the fight with Daddy about me not cleaning my room. Mommy told him that I wasn't a good girl. It's Mommy's fault that Daddy left.’ Now she can push that anger outwards at Mommy; get into fights with Mommy and point her guilt outwards towards Mommy. All of it is stemming from the guilt she manufactured from that false belief she created as a child that Daddy left because she didn't clean her room. As she gets older and we push forward into her twenties, she has an anger towards her mother that rears its ugly head in many other areas of her life.  How can guilt affect me at work?For example, she's at work. She has a boss who is a woman about her mom’s age. Her boss says to her when she comes in late to work ‘You need to be more responsible when it comes to your job, because I need you here on time. That's part of your job. It's part of being a grown up. I understand that you're young, but you need to do the right thing here.’ Rather than respond as you should respond to your boss-- ‘Yes I apologize I'll be sure to be on time tomorrow.’ She responds with ‘F*** you! You're not my mother. You can't tell me what to do. You're not the boss of me. Screw you. I'm out of here.’ The anger and blame that stems from the guilt that she's been carrying, spills out onto her boss, who has said something motherly to her about taking responsibility for her life. She exploded on her boss. Lost her job. This will continue to happen to her over and over again until she traces this back. That Vine twists itself into every corner of her life; every relationship, every interaction; every moment. All stemming from the same root of guilt; all stemming back to ‘my daddy left because I didn't clean my room’ which is a false belief to begin with. You can see how this will create so many vines out of this one root of guilt. And now, she feels shame, because she's been mean to her mother, she’s been mean to her boss. She won't get a very good reference from that job, because of the way she handled things. Here’s another vine-- Maybe she was a great boss and a really nice lady. Our heroine may feel bad about what she did but maybe to cover up that shame, now she'll badly talk that boss behind her back. Maybe the boss didn't fire her and she let her stay on, but now she's spreading a rumor about that boss at work to cover up her own shame for telling her off. She's making fun of the way the boss dresses, or her size, etc, to cover up her own shame about how she spoke to her to cover up her own embarrassment. It's interesting how many of these Vines can you grow from just one root, from just one false belief that was started from one little root.  Guilt can cause us to lash out at othersThis is just one story...just one version following just one or two vines growing up from a single root and a single incident. Following this vine from this one root all the way from that false core belief--it's my fault that Daddy left because I didn't clean my room-- to lashing out and pushing away everyone around us. We follow that vine on an expansion of growth outwards with a person who carries that belief pushing that pain outwards at the world; they lash out at the people around them in Anger. They will lash out because of the shame they feel. They lash out because of the guilt they feel because they are bad; because they feel like they are naughty. They don't want people to see how bad they are and so ‘I'm going to keep everyone away from me. I'm going to destroy everything before they can get to me. This is my defense. This is how I keep people away. This is how I stop them before they hurt me, the way I was hurt by my daddy leaving, because 'I'm a bad girl.’ This is part 16 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link What is guilt? Guilt is feeling responsible or regretful for perceived offense, real or imaginary. We have an innate ability to take guilt on as our own, whether we are actually guilty or not. Merriam-Webster says it's the fact of having committed a breach of conduct, especially violating law and involving a penalty, a punishment. When we do something wrong, we feel like we need to be punished. Guilt deserves punishment, right? When we do something wrong as a child, we get punished. Maybe you got spanked; maybe you got yelled at; maybe you got beat; maybe you got sent to your room; maybe you got grounded. We're taught as children that when you do something wrong, when you are bad, when you are naughty, you get punished; because you are guilty; because you are bad. We as children learn to take on the sins of the world. We learn to take on the guilt of things that are even not our fault. We learn to take on the guilt of the moods of our parents. Often because our parents will absentmindedly put that weight upon us. It's not because our parents are necessarily bad people. It's because they don't think, before they speak; because they don't understand; because they don't know any better; because they're living their own life and having a hard time; because they don't recognize how the things that they say affect us as children. For example: You run into the room and say ‘Mommy Mommy look what I made’ and Mommy drops the dinner or Mommy cuts herself or you make mommy jump and she spills her drink. Mommy says a simple sentence like ‘Look what you made me do, look what you made mommy do’ and gets mad. Now you're not happy anymore. You're not excited and Mommy's very mad. You take that blame on yourself. I made mommy mad. Now you feel that you have so much guilt and responsibility when it comes to Mommy's moods. Maybe you're supposed to clean your room, and you don't clean your room. Mommy gets mad at you and she punishes you and she says you go sit in your room until it's clean. That afternoon, you hear mommy and daddy having a big fight. Then, Daddy leaves. Mommy comes to you and tells you that daddy's not coming home. She didn't say it was your fault, but you look around your messy room, and as a child, you say to yourself ‘It's my fault that Daddy left because I didn't clean my room. It's my fault that he left cuz I'm a bad girl. I'm a bad girl who doesn't listen to her mommy and daddy. I made daddy leave because I was bad.’ Obviously this isn’t true, but as a child, we don’t know that, and it plants one of those roots, a root called Guilt.  Fast-forward that guilt 10 years. Now you're 15 and you think you're a bad girl. You make people leave, because you're a bad girl. Why would you even try to be nice because you're just going to make people leave. So you lash out and you act out. You get into trouble. You curse out your mother. You yell at your teachers. You get suspended in school. You get bad grades, because it's all your fault that your life went to hell. It's all your fault that your dad left. It's all your fault that your mom cries at night. You don't deserve to have anyone be nice to you. You don't deserve to live in a nice room. You don't deserve to have any good things. It's your fault. Everything that's bad, everything that's happening is your fault. There's that vine that has grown from the root of your guilt... Let's fast forward another 10 years. You are 25. You moved out. You have a job. You're working. You're doing the things that normal people do, but you're still carrying that guilt, that root. You have a man in your life. He's very nice, but you're always looking for something to go wrong. You're always looking for that other shoe to drop. You're always looking for a reason to jet out the door. You don't deserve to have this nice guy, because you're bad. You're a bad girl and something bad is going to happen any minute. It's going to be your fault. He's going to leave because you're a bad girl. You made your dad leave, so why wouldn't this guy leave? So the first chance you get, you do something to screw the relationship up. He leaves and that's all the proof you need that you're a bad girl. It's all your fault. You don't deserve to have someone who loves you. You will do this over and over and over again in your life. You will sabotage every relationship that you are in, because you're a bad girl. It's your fault that people leave you. You don't deserve to have somebody good in your life. This is just one of many, many, many ways the guilt can affect us. These are a few of the ways guilt manifests. These are just a few examples of the way guilt’s vines crawl into our lives and wrap themselves around every piece of our lives. Guilt Vines can crawl in a different direction. This is part 15 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link ****Trigger warning**** |
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Storytime...
I'm going to tell you a story. A friend of mine needed some help…
I'm going to explain it this way to you and I want you to take the advice that I gave him in the same way. And as I tell you this story, I want you to think about that person in your life who hurt you; the perpetrator, the person who injured you, the person who broke your heart, the person that changed you, scarred you, traumatized you...
***trigger warning***
In his late teens, this friend of mine had a woman in his life that he loved more than anything. It was the mid-1980s, and while they were involved they lived on the streets, in abandoned buildings, small studios, hotel rooms in bad neighborhoods. One day, she was grabbed off the street, dragged into a back alley, and basically raped and beaten by several men.
A horrible terrible thing to happen to her, no doubt.
My friend, of course, was enraged but there was no justice and no finding the culprits.
My friend and I had this discussion in 2016.
He had lived his entire life getting into fist fights at the drop of a hat.
He still carried so much rage, so much anger, so much pain, so much just hatred of the world for what happened to his lady.
He lived his entire life feeling like those people were unforgivable. There was no way to forgive those people, EVER, for what they had done, EVER.
I'm going to tell you a story. A friend of mine needed some help…
I'm going to explain it this way to you and I want you to take the advice that I gave him in the same way. And as I tell you this story, I want you to think about that person in your life who hurt you; the perpetrator, the person who injured you, the person who broke your heart, the person that changed you, scarred you, traumatized you...
***trigger warning***
In his late teens, this friend of mine had a woman in his life that he loved more than anything. It was the mid-1980s, and while they were involved they lived on the streets, in abandoned buildings, small studios, hotel rooms in bad neighborhoods. One day, she was grabbed off the street, dragged into a back alley, and basically raped and beaten by several men.
A horrible terrible thing to happen to her, no doubt.
My friend, of course, was enraged but there was no justice and no finding the culprits.
My friend and I had this discussion in 2016.
He had lived his entire life getting into fist fights at the drop of a hat.
He still carried so much rage, so much anger, so much pain, so much just hatred of the world for what happened to his lady.
He lived his entire life feeling like those people were unforgivable. There was no way to forgive those people, EVER, for what they had done, EVER.
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This was the advice that I gave him and this is the advice that I give you right now.
Every human on this planet is a mortal vessel, housing a Divine being.
Every single mortal on this planet is a vessel housing a Divine being.
They are born pure and they are born perfect and each one is on a journey in their life.
Each one goes through experiences and pains and traumas that change them. Each goes through experiences that change them to their core.
Experiences that change them sometimes beyond the recognition of humanity, love, mercy and compassion. Experiences that can change them to the point that they don't understand how to process the amount of pain that they carry inside of them.
They don't understand how to process the amount of hurt and trauma that they themselves have been put through. So much pain and trauma, that the only thing that they know how to do with that pain that they lived through, is to then put it on to others;
is to lash out
is to then be the abuser
Is to be the person who is hurting others
Is to be the beater
Is to be the abuser
Is to be the person who needs to have the power...
This is in no way condoning the actions of those who do wrong.
But inside of every killer,
inside of every abuser,
inside of every person who is committing crimes against humanity,
Inside of every person committing crimes against children,
Inside every one of them is a Divine being trapped inside a mortal vessel of pain; trapped inside a whirlwind of suffering;
They are trapped inside a reality that they have created within their own mind, with their own self talk and their own self conversations full of suffering and Hell.
The only way that they know how to get that pain and hurt out is to abuse others, is to hurt others, is to kill others, is to bomb others, is to explode others, is to shoot others.
It's not right... it's never, ever the right thing, but they don't know any other way.
The victimizer usually started out as a victim...
We as the ‘Awakening’ are always in the process of self awareness and self healing. This allows us to look back at our abusers, at the ones who have hurt us, at the ones who have put this upon us. We have to look at our abusers through the eyes of empathy. We have to look at them through the eyes of compassion, even though they are the ones who committed these hurtful acts;
even though they put this pain upon us;
even though they are the ones that were in the wrong;
even though they have done this.
We as the ‘Awakening’ have to be the ones to extend the healing of empathy towards those who are in so much pain that pain becomes the only language they understand. Lashing out with violence and anger becomes the only way they can express their pain. We have to extend them empathy and compassion.
This is part 11 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link
Every human on this planet is a mortal vessel, housing a Divine being.
Every single mortal on this planet is a vessel housing a Divine being.
They are born pure and they are born perfect and each one is on a journey in their life.
Each one goes through experiences and pains and traumas that change them. Each goes through experiences that change them to their core.
Experiences that change them sometimes beyond the recognition of humanity, love, mercy and compassion. Experiences that can change them to the point that they don't understand how to process the amount of pain that they carry inside of them.
They don't understand how to process the amount of hurt and trauma that they themselves have been put through. So much pain and trauma, that the only thing that they know how to do with that pain that they lived through, is to then put it on to others;
is to lash out
is to then be the abuser
Is to be the person who is hurting others
Is to be the beater
Is to be the abuser
Is to be the person who needs to have the power...
This is in no way condoning the actions of those who do wrong.
But inside of every killer,
inside of every abuser,
inside of every person who is committing crimes against humanity,
Inside of every person committing crimes against children,
Inside every one of them is a Divine being trapped inside a mortal vessel of pain; trapped inside a whirlwind of suffering;
They are trapped inside a reality that they have created within their own mind, with their own self talk and their own self conversations full of suffering and Hell.
The only way that they know how to get that pain and hurt out is to abuse others, is to hurt others, is to kill others, is to bomb others, is to explode others, is to shoot others.
It's not right... it's never, ever the right thing, but they don't know any other way.
The victimizer usually started out as a victim...
We as the ‘Awakening’ are always in the process of self awareness and self healing. This allows us to look back at our abusers, at the ones who have hurt us, at the ones who have put this upon us. We have to look at our abusers through the eyes of empathy. We have to look at them through the eyes of compassion, even though they are the ones who committed these hurtful acts;
even though they put this pain upon us;
even though they are the ones that were in the wrong;
even though they have done this.
We as the ‘Awakening’ have to be the ones to extend the healing of empathy towards those who are in so much pain that pain becomes the only language they understand. Lashing out with violence and anger becomes the only way they can express their pain. We have to extend them empathy and compassion.
This is part 11 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link
Time travel seems like something straight out of science fiction. Walking through a shimmering portal, driving a DeLorean 88 miles an hour...we have very set ideas about what time travel looks like. And yet, each of us travels through time every day. Each time we have a memory that creates a feeling in us, we are traveling through time.
Huh?
There are people who will tell you don't look at the past.
‘The past is over. You can't learn anything from the past. The past is over. Going back there just makes you feel bad again. You can't get anything from that. There's no point looking backwards.’
I disagree with that 100% and here's why.
All-time happens, all the time.
All-time happens, all the time.
That means that if something in the past caused you pain, it is still causing you pain, right now.
If somebody in the past called you a nasty name and it hurt your feelings, when somebody in the present now calls you a nasty name, it still hurts your feelings the same way it did in the past.
In fact, it may hurt your feelings even more now, than it hurt you in the past. Because you're still carrying that pain from the past, your pain in the present will be magnified.
So, because all time happens all the time, when something happens in the present that triggers a memory from the past, your pain in the present is now amplified and magnified by that pain from the past. So, all your pain is happening all the time.
So, if all time is happening all the time, then that means that you can go back and time travel in your mind.
You can heal the thing that happened in the past and it will affect the way you feel in the present.
Once we recognize that patterns in our life, like we spoke of in the last section of feeling unheard, that pattern in our life where we constantly feel like nobody's listening to us; once we can identify that as a strong emotion that comes up in our life over and over and over again, now the real work begins.
Now, we recognize that's a Vine in our life. It’s a vine that creeps into so many different areas of daily living, but all of those vines come from a single root. We want to follow that vine back to its root. We want to keep following that vine backwards in our life.
We're going to take that vine, the one that represents you not feeling listened to, and we're going to trace it back backwards in time.
We're going to time travel.
Huh?
There are people who will tell you don't look at the past.
‘The past is over. You can't learn anything from the past. The past is over. Going back there just makes you feel bad again. You can't get anything from that. There's no point looking backwards.’
I disagree with that 100% and here's why.
All-time happens, all the time.
All-time happens, all the time.
That means that if something in the past caused you pain, it is still causing you pain, right now.
If somebody in the past called you a nasty name and it hurt your feelings, when somebody in the present now calls you a nasty name, it still hurts your feelings the same way it did in the past.
In fact, it may hurt your feelings even more now, than it hurt you in the past. Because you're still carrying that pain from the past, your pain in the present will be magnified.
So, because all time happens all the time, when something happens in the present that triggers a memory from the past, your pain in the present is now amplified and magnified by that pain from the past. So, all your pain is happening all the time.
So, if all time is happening all the time, then that means that you can go back and time travel in your mind.
You can heal the thing that happened in the past and it will affect the way you feel in the present.
Once we recognize that patterns in our life, like we spoke of in the last section of feeling unheard, that pattern in our life where we constantly feel like nobody's listening to us; once we can identify that as a strong emotion that comes up in our life over and over and over again, now the real work begins.
Now, we recognize that's a Vine in our life. It’s a vine that creeps into so many different areas of daily living, but all of those vines come from a single root. We want to follow that vine back to its root. We want to keep following that vine backwards in our life.
We're going to take that vine, the one that represents you not feeling listened to, and we're going to trace it back backwards in time.
We're going to time travel.
How Does Time Travel Help me Heal?
You're going to use that vine like a rope to pull you backwards in time, event to event to event. We are going to travel backwards through time, towards all of the times that you didn't feel listened to; all the times you felt unheard.
Keep going backwards through time.
Just let one memory lead you to another and lead you to another and lead you to another.
If you get upset about it, it's okay. It's okay to feel upset. Make a note of it every time you're feeling a little bit upset about going through one of these experiences.
Don’t misunderstand me, I'm not saying to re-live them. We're looking at them from the outside, looking in. You’re looking at it as an observer. I don't want you to collapse yourself into the emotion.
This might be easier said than done, so I’m going to give you a little coping mechanism. If, as you travel backwards through time, you find yourself getting caught up in the emotions, being overwhelmed by the feelings and experiences you are going back to, as you feel them, yes allow yourself to cry, but as you do, repeat to yourself
‘Thank you for this opportunity to heal. Thank you, I love you. I’m sorry. Forgive me.’
Many, many people far wiser and smarter than me have used these phrases to heal!
We're going to follow that vine hand-over-hand back through time, rewinding your life like a TV show, back as far back as you can remember.
You're going to use that vine like a rope to pull you backwards in time, event to event to event. We are going to travel backwards through time, towards all of the times that you didn't feel listened to; all the times you felt unheard.
Keep going backwards through time.
Just let one memory lead you to another and lead you to another and lead you to another.
If you get upset about it, it's okay. It's okay to feel upset. Make a note of it every time you're feeling a little bit upset about going through one of these experiences.
Don’t misunderstand me, I'm not saying to re-live them. We're looking at them from the outside, looking in. You’re looking at it as an observer. I don't want you to collapse yourself into the emotion.
This might be easier said than done, so I’m going to give you a little coping mechanism. If, as you travel backwards through time, you find yourself getting caught up in the emotions, being overwhelmed by the feelings and experiences you are going back to, as you feel them, yes allow yourself to cry, but as you do, repeat to yourself
‘Thank you for this opportunity to heal. Thank you, I love you. I’m sorry. Forgive me.’
Many, many people far wiser and smarter than me have used these phrases to heal!
We're going to follow that vine hand-over-hand back through time, rewinding your life like a TV show, back as far back as you can remember.
Now, this example might take you all the way back to the dinner table, when you're five years old. You're sitting at the dinner table and you're saying ‘I want to talk about my day’
Somebody at the table tells you ‘Be quiet. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Children are seen and not heard. Nobody cares what you have to say.’
We have a winner!!
That is a memory worth healing.
That is a memory that caused a wound in you, because right there, you were told that what you had to say wasn't worth listening to.
At that moment as a child, because we don't understand as children how to process that, we take it as absolute truth. That tiny piece of memory becomes a piece of our core truth-
’What I have to say isn't worth listening to.’
In that moment, that feeling becomes our ‘reality.’
We then play out that ‘reality’ for the rest of our lives.
We form core beliefs about ourselves based on this ‘reality.’
The universe surrounds us with people who prove out that belief that we have that we aren't worth listening to… All because someone made a comment to you at the dinner table when you were just a little kid--and now all these years later that root has grown vines that infect your whole life…
Here's how we heal that using the time-travel method. You're going to do this all in your mind, so it may feel a little strange at first. Know that this way of time travel can help you if you put your heart and energy into it. You may need to do it repeatedly, over and over, to get the forgiveness to stick, but eventually you will feel the difference. You will feel healed. You will feel transformed.
Here's the Answer- How do I Heal with Time Travel?
First thing you're going to do once you travel back in time to that dinner table, you're going to sit down right next to your little self.
1. You're going to turn to yourself and you're going to say to your little self ‘You know what? I'll listen to you. You tell me whatever you want to tell me. What you have to say is so important! I love you and I want to hear exactly what you have to say.’
Then you listen to whatever your little tiny self has to say and you give your little self a hug.
Next you say ‘That was fascinating. You are so interesting and the things you had to say are so important. Don't ever forget that.’ And you give yourself a hug.
2. Next, you're going to turn around to that person or those people who said that to you and you're going to give every one of them a hug and you're going to tell them ‘You know what? I forgive you for saying that to me. You didn't know what kind of damage you were doing at the time. You didn't understand how that was going to affect me and I love you. I love you. You weren't trying to hurt me. Even if you were trying to hurt me, you were lashing out of your own pain and I understand that. Pain is pain. I get it.’
You give each one of them a hug in your mind.
This part is the secret- not many people will tell you about this part-this is the secret sauce-
3. You turn to yourself, your grown self, who's going around hugging everyone, and you give yourself some of that empathy and love.
You say to yourself ‘I forgive you for believing this garbage you have been believing for so long about what you have to say is not important. I forgive you for believing that nobody should listen to you. I forgive you for believing this BS for the last 20 -30 -40 -50 -60 years.’
You give yourself a hug and you say ‘I love you-- insert name here --I love you. What you have to say is important and I am listening to you.’ You put your arms around yourself and you give yourself a big hug.
Somebody at the table tells you ‘Be quiet. Nobody wants to hear what you have to say. Children are seen and not heard. Nobody cares what you have to say.’
We have a winner!!
That is a memory worth healing.
That is a memory that caused a wound in you, because right there, you were told that what you had to say wasn't worth listening to.
At that moment as a child, because we don't understand as children how to process that, we take it as absolute truth. That tiny piece of memory becomes a piece of our core truth-
’What I have to say isn't worth listening to.’
In that moment, that feeling becomes our ‘reality.’
We then play out that ‘reality’ for the rest of our lives.
We form core beliefs about ourselves based on this ‘reality.’
The universe surrounds us with people who prove out that belief that we have that we aren't worth listening to… All because someone made a comment to you at the dinner table when you were just a little kid--and now all these years later that root has grown vines that infect your whole life…
Here's how we heal that using the time-travel method. You're going to do this all in your mind, so it may feel a little strange at first. Know that this way of time travel can help you if you put your heart and energy into it. You may need to do it repeatedly, over and over, to get the forgiveness to stick, but eventually you will feel the difference. You will feel healed. You will feel transformed.
Here's the Answer- How do I Heal with Time Travel?
First thing you're going to do once you travel back in time to that dinner table, you're going to sit down right next to your little self.
1. You're going to turn to yourself and you're going to say to your little self ‘You know what? I'll listen to you. You tell me whatever you want to tell me. What you have to say is so important! I love you and I want to hear exactly what you have to say.’
Then you listen to whatever your little tiny self has to say and you give your little self a hug.
Next you say ‘That was fascinating. You are so interesting and the things you had to say are so important. Don't ever forget that.’ And you give yourself a hug.
2. Next, you're going to turn around to that person or those people who said that to you and you're going to give every one of them a hug and you're going to tell them ‘You know what? I forgive you for saying that to me. You didn't know what kind of damage you were doing at the time. You didn't understand how that was going to affect me and I love you. I love you. You weren't trying to hurt me. Even if you were trying to hurt me, you were lashing out of your own pain and I understand that. Pain is pain. I get it.’
You give each one of them a hug in your mind.
This part is the secret- not many people will tell you about this part-this is the secret sauce-
3. You turn to yourself, your grown self, who's going around hugging everyone, and you give yourself some of that empathy and love.
You say to yourself ‘I forgive you for believing this garbage you have been believing for so long about what you have to say is not important. I forgive you for believing that nobody should listen to you. I forgive you for believing this BS for the last 20 -30 -40 -50 -60 years.’
You give yourself a hug and you say ‘I love you-- insert name here --I love you. What you have to say is important and I am listening to you.’ You put your arms around yourself and you give yourself a big hug.
Then you take out a trowel or a little shovel and you yank that root out. You dig that root right out.
You give it a big old kiss and you throw it away.
You get rid of it, because now that you found the root of that belief, you don't need it anymore. It's not serving you anymore.
Now, when you bring yourself back to the present, you're going to feel differently. People are going to notice and the universe is going to bring you a different reality.
The universe was bringing you exactly what you believed.
You believed that what you had to say wasn't worth listening to, so to that end, nobody listened to you. Now that you believe you are worth listening to, people will listen to you.
You might have to go back and do it a few times. Those roots can be wiley.
They are gnarly.
The vines can grow back over and over again. You have got to get every little bit of that root out, or the vine keeps growing back. But once you get it all out, it's done. Once you learn that lesson, you won't be repeating it again and again and again and again.
Are you ready?
We're going to apply this to every single one of these emotions. For every single one of these emotions that we explore, we're going to apply this exact same technique.
You're going to grab hold of that vine and you're going to follow it all the way back to the root.
You're going to figure out where it came from and you're going to love the hell out of that thing.
You're going to love the little kid that was injured.
You're going to love the person that injured you and you’re going to love yourself.
You're going to forgive yourself.
Because this is about the Simple Spirituality of Self and how you can learn to love yourself unconditionally. The way to do this is to forgive yourself for carrying all this junk around with you for your whole lifetime to let go of the baggage and start truly living a happy life.
This is part 10 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link
You give it a big old kiss and you throw it away.
You get rid of it, because now that you found the root of that belief, you don't need it anymore. It's not serving you anymore.
Now, when you bring yourself back to the present, you're going to feel differently. People are going to notice and the universe is going to bring you a different reality.
The universe was bringing you exactly what you believed.
You believed that what you had to say wasn't worth listening to, so to that end, nobody listened to you. Now that you believe you are worth listening to, people will listen to you.
You might have to go back and do it a few times. Those roots can be wiley.
They are gnarly.
The vines can grow back over and over again. You have got to get every little bit of that root out, or the vine keeps growing back. But once you get it all out, it's done. Once you learn that lesson, you won't be repeating it again and again and again and again.
Are you ready?
We're going to apply this to every single one of these emotions. For every single one of these emotions that we explore, we're going to apply this exact same technique.
You're going to grab hold of that vine and you're going to follow it all the way back to the root.
You're going to figure out where it came from and you're going to love the hell out of that thing.
You're going to love the little kid that was injured.
You're going to love the person that injured you and you’re going to love yourself.
You're going to forgive yourself.
Because this is about the Simple Spirituality of Self and how you can learn to love yourself unconditionally. The way to do this is to forgive yourself for carrying all this junk around with you for your whole lifetime to let go of the baggage and start truly living a happy life.
This is part 10 of a series of excerpt from Simple Spirituality of Self e-book channeled by me during my Awakening
If you would like to read the entire book NOW for $3 and support the continuous exploration of this Awakening we all share- Click this link
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